Shot Dad to Save the Family: Teenage Boy Justified

http://news.yahoo.com/prosecutor-shooting-dad-veteran-justified-162630245.html

A tragic accident happened recently in the family of a veteran who was in services for over 25 years and retired because of the health issues. The court dropped the charged against a 14-year-old who, protecting his family, had to shoot his father to death.

A 44-year-old veteran of Afghan war was suffering the post traumatic stress disorder and supposedly was receiving some kind of medical help. He became abusive and eventually life-threatening towards his family.

When war veterans are coming back to the “civil world” they receive a psychological assistance to help them transitioning. There are many talks and debates on this topic, stating that veterans do not get enough needed help. The horrible accident that happened in the family is unfortunately not the first and only one. Tragedies like that happen quite often: family members, friends, coworkers and just random people can be victims of the mental disorder of veterans. As the latter risk their life to protect their compatriots, doesn’t the society have to provide them with the ultimate, accessible and affordable assistance upon their return from the battlefield? Billions of dollars are spent on the armament and wars, but how come there are always talks about the “deficit” of available services for veterans due to the money shortage? There are lots of veterans students on college campuses. Certain services are available for them. But due to the nature of the place setting (universities) the main focus remains on academics for veterans, thus it should be more aggressive outreach especially for those who just left the active duties. To my mind, those services have to work closely with veterans, their families (as they also have to be acknowledged on how to help their nearest and dearest to adjust to the “normal life”), and work settings (colleges in particular).

Fired for Being too Pretty

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/dentist-fired-pretty-irresistible-dentist-employee-acted-legally-court-article-1.1397245

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2013/02/20/appearance-discrimination/

 

The two articles combines presents a topic that brings something new to the hiring/firing process: nowadays one can be fired for being too pretty, too sexy thus provocative for employers; apparently, the reasons given “it may threaten my marriage” or “i am just trying to prevent the sexual harassment” are legitimate enough for the court to stand by such “employer.”

The 30-year-old dentist assistant who was in the spotlight for being fired by her boss, shares her story. The court didn’t find the dentist, her boss, being guilty. Apparently, the reasons were satisfying enough not to start a case against the sexual discrimination. The owner of the dentistry, who is twice as old as his assistant, said that he found his young employee “irresistibly” attractive and in order to prevent the “ugliness of where it could have led” he, upon his wife approval,decided to let her go. Although, there are lots of shadows in the story (indeed, it could have been his wife idea threatening to divorce him, etc.), what surprised me was the reaction of the court. The man’s honesty definitely wins him some points, but isn’t is somewhat cheesy? I know it might have been an extreme comparison, but if a person comes to the court (police) and confesses that he has a strong desire to kill someone and that’s why it would be for the best of both “parties” not to be placed in one working/living environment, how would this situation be approached? Would that guy be needed to be isolated not just from that particular person who triggers such a “desire” but from everybody and maybe “prescribed” some psychiatrist’s sessions and med? When a 60+ year old says that he can not control his behavior, is he a potential threat to the people who surround him, especially considering that fact that he is a dentist; or does he accept/ decline his clients based on “appearance” too? 

When tragic things happen in our society (and unfortunately, quite often) we complain about the issues not being addressed in a timely manner, but on the opposite side, when we receive signals, we often ignore them. 

 

The 50th Anniversary of the Civil Rights Act

When starting a research on the topic, I, as a first generation immigrant, decided to: a) challenge my “literacy” and check what I knew about the Civil Rights Act before digging for details and b) check the online resources to help me find info and interesting facts I didn’t know. Sadly, to my great disappointment and embarrassment, I only knew that the act was implemented in sixties and its main purpose was to outlaw different kinds of discrimination. Some names and acts popped in to my memory: Dr. Martin Luther King, President Kennedy, Medicare, and that’s about it. With the help of internet, I was able to get much more information on this pivotal act for all Americans. In the light of the 50^th anniversary when the act was signed and passed by president Johnson in 1964, there was a summit that took place at a presidentional library in Austin, Texas.  

Fifty years have passed since the Civil Rights Act was enacted, one of the result of which is that we have a Diversity Class, that we are not segregated by race, sex or religion (at least officially), etc. On its anniversary, president Obama who was one of the four presidents to speak at the conference (B. Clinton, George W. Bush and J. Carter) paid tribute at the Lyndon B Johnson Library in Austin. America’s first black president was talking about how he and others of his generation benefited from the act since it was passed in 1964. “Because of the civil rights movement, because of the laws that president Lyndon passed, new doors were swung open.” He did admit that despite of the law, there was still race that colors political debates. Obama gave his assessment of the historical event along with the profile of the president Lyndon Johnson: “… he was charming when he wanted to be, ruthless when required.” When listing other reforms that followed the Civil Rights Act, such as immigration reforms, The Fair Housing Act, and a Healthcare law (known as a Medicare), Obama was humorous when rephrasing the reaction of opponents’ of those days: “… they (opponents) described the new health reform as socialized medicine, that curtail America’s freedom”, the comment somewhat similar to what Obama’s administration was facing when trying to implement the new health reform of nowadays. The president was also criticizing the efforts to restrict voting through voting identification laws and other methods. A quick re-cap of the latter: in thirty US states the voter ID is required (in order to register to vote some kind of a state issued ID is needed). The law received criticism by the Democratic Party as they stated it could lead to the disenfranchisement of poor, minority, and elderly voters, as well as Latinos and Blacks (abcNews).

President Clinton gave a speech on immigration and voting identification law. Interesting observation: Clinton’s brave critique was given in one of those states where the ID law is implemented (Texas).

Former US president George Bush, Jr. was primarily focused on education reform. Seems like he wanted to remind the world (country) about the No Child Left Behind act that was passed by in his era of reign (The Daily Texan).

President Carter was talking about the sexual abuse on college campuses. Although, unlike others whose speeches were more in a rhetoric or historic mode, he suggested the solution to a problem: the Title IX clause that allows federal funds to be withheld from universities if administrators fail to address sexual assault cases should be invoked to help address the problem (The Daily Texan).

All in all, the summit speakers and its attendees agreed upon the positive effect of the event as it “…was inspiring us to carry the conversation of civil rights forward and consider how those rights are being negotiated by different groups today.”

Comments on Class 03/27/2014

The most recent Diversity class for many of us (I would even say for all of us) was very emotional: almost towards the end of the semester in just one class we learned or had known about each other probably more then we could have even if we had taken several classes together (in some cases that is how it was: we did take classes together but all we knew about each other was a name and the name of the program or progression in the program of study, and that is also ok, as it is common in classes that have a different “nature”). All of us was willing to share lots of thing, personal things that is. Strange – we were not obligated or required to do so; all what assignment said was “what do others need to know about you?”, yet 99% were sharing things that sometimes were very personal; we were talking honestly about what interested or concerned or worried us. We were saying things that sometimes we say to very close friends, or a counselor, or even nobody because we don’t want to be judged, or embarrassed, or even misunderstood or misinterpreted by others, yet we were talking freely about those thing in class! I think, that the timing was chosen not accidently: the class was preparing us for that: by participating in lots of class activities, going on field trip to jail, discussing the current racial and other issues in class, all the assignments including the topic for papers and blogging, have led us to the point where we could start discussing not only somebody else’s problems but ours in the light of the class concept – diversity. We are very diverse and we got a proof of that by listening to each other. I am sure each of us had learned something new not only about his or her classmate but also about himself after the class: I, once more, realized that we should not take everything for granted; of how lucky I was and what other people have to overcome to become of what they are now; that it is ok not to want to share everything or to share to a certain extent. Diversity is not an easy subject, even its definition is changing as our world and our perception of it is changing. I can hardly imagine the class to be taught in a different manner but the one that we have: linked to the real, current issues, following the newest trends and every little change occurred. I wonder what my blog team thinks about the last topic discussed.

Where Do Foster Kids Go after They Have Aged out the System?

http://www.mynews4.com/news/local/story/The-Eddy-House-Project-celebrates-one-year/NrDYfiJ7Rk6u1iYrfk9l1A.cspx?rss=3298

https://www.facebook.com/theeddyhouse

http://www.eddyhouse.org/how-to-help/

 

 There are no another’s kids – they are our kids even if they are not related to us by blood; they are community of where we live kids. The foster care, the idea of which goes back to the Old Testament, has been successfully functioning for many years in lots of countries as an addition to the orphanage, but what happens to those 18-19 year-olds that are “too old” to stay in the care facilities? The sad statistics show that many kids end up in the streets, and eventually in jails or even prisons. How and why that is happening and what can be done to try to prevent that? The partial answer is found in the Reno Eddy House: the organization founded and run by Lynette Eddy who tries to help those young former foster males that don’t know what to do with their lives. Eddy accommodates some of them (her house that she purchased especially for that holds 6 inhabitants) until they feel comfortable enough to be on their own. Her goal is to assist the young men with the essential skills and knowledge the still lack on: high school degrees and/or professional certificates that will allow them to find the niche where they can provide for themselves which will help them stay away from the troubles. “I want them to have vital skills such as bank account, job experience, degree certificate when they transitioning to the real world,” says Lynette. There is no date or time requirements when the boys have to move out of the house – everything is individualized. The house restaurant business – The Z-Pie – allows boys to get their sometimes very first job experience; 100% of its profits goes back to the house keep the restaurant running. The changes are tremendous: boys that come from the streets become college students (not all of them, of course, and not immediately). For all of them Eddy House is a starting point of a new life and a hope that this new life will be good. The business has its ups and downs like any small (and not only small) businesses; as it is the only source of profit, sometimes it struggles. As for the help: as easy as it can be: come and eat at Z-Pie: what you are paying for the food goes to the house and help those kids to get the experience to succeed in their life. The house also encourage the outside help/ volunteer in the following areas: IT Specialist, Handyman, Seasonal Administrative jobs. For those who are interested the info can be found on the Eddy House website: www.eddyhouse.org I wonder if the volunteer experience can be applied as an internship for our students not to mention an overall positive experience they can get by working in such establishment!

Casa de Vida Gives Hope to Unwed Mothers

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/casa_de_vida_gives_hope_to_unwed_mothers/

How does a woman feel when she expects her baby, much more first baby? Happy, excited, a little nervous of course but all the comfort and support she receives from her significant other, relatives, and friends take part of her worries away. This is not always like that, and almost never was like that for the Casa de Vida inhabitants- the non-profit organization that provides all kinds of support to young, pregnant women in our town, some of which are teenage girls. Casa de Vida provides them with the essential needs: food, shelter, access to the healthcare, and beyond: young women can have assistance with getting their high school diplomas through adult education or with being placed at the local high school for pregnant teens. There are certain rules, obligations, and responsibilities that moms-to-be are required to follow: they must attend school, take prenatal classes, abide by the 9 p.m. weekday and 11 p.m. weekend curfew, stay sober, and perform simple daily chores. For many of those girls the other options would be street, shelter or even eventually a jail. The organization has been successful in term of being able to give a help and hope to the young women who were rejected by their families or simply do not have any ever since it was founded in 1982 by three Catholic women; it is thinking about the expansion to be able to provide the further help to the newly moms who need assistance with their babies: “… we want healthy babies, toddlers, kids and want to make sure they are not repeating the same cycle,” says the director of the Casa de Vida. In the university published magazine, Insight, I read a little bit about the organization in a context of how it is surviving on a donation basis; I was pleased to know that our students volunteer there performing all kinds of tasks: from sorting the donation to tutoring the Casa de Vida occupants. One of the student was saying that when she is asked why she is doing it and much more why she is doing that for free, she answers that it is more than just a job, or a regular job per se; she, like many others who donate their stuff and time, contribute in to someone’s life – and that’s priceless, and the only thing that matters when she is working over there. Some may say “it’s not our problem those girls ended up that way, why we should do anything if they screwed their life?” But it is our problem (as parents, educators, just citizens) and maybe even a quilt that something went “off track” in those girls’ life: maybe if we start learning how to be more compassionate, more involved in to issues of the commune where we all inhabit by even doing something small, it will be worth more than all those humane talks and debates as it will start showing the real positive results and impact on someone’s life!

A Gender Mystery: Why Do More Womem Than Men Study Abroad In College?

http://www.policymic.com/articles/6642/a-gender-mystery-why-do-more-women-than-men-study-abroad-in-college

 

I came across this article which was relevant to my recent attendance of Diversity on Campus conference (I was at the last panel where USAC was one of the presented topics). According to the statistics (the presenters were talking about UNR Study Abroad Consortium), the average student of USAC program is a 22-23 year-old white female from the College of Liberal Arts (a little bit more numbers: about 70% of USAC participants are females).  The article suggests some reasons of this “phenomenon”: first of all, the range of the courses offered through the program are mostly designed and limited to freshmen/sophomore level students needing courses for their language or elective courses requirements; more specialized classes that one could use for one’s major or minor require solid knowledge of the language, thus USAC classed are “language enhancers” and usually are oriented on students who have little linguistic base/knowledge. If anybody but female students who can take advantage of the study abroad in term of taking more advanced classes as there are more women than men studying linguistic as their main specialty; in a word, the enrollment for foreign language department is greater amongst females than males. Another thing is that men are typically less “proactive and organized” than their female counterparts: different influences play a role too, as women are shown to be more affected by their parents, peers, and faculty members. As I was wondering about how universities could change this tendency and have a broader variety of classes available, I thought about the more Internship programs available for both undergraduate/graduate students (and faculty!). As I understand that a higher level of the foreign language knowledge is needed to participate in such program, I would suggest to maybe change the teaching methods of the foreign languages; I have never been an Undergraduate student in the United States, and I would like to attend one of those classes just to see how the lessons are delivered and why students after completing a course and fulfilling the graduation requirements for the foreign language, can’t even make a simple conversation ( just an observation, and also reference to my personal experience at the Russian university – by the way, similar situation, wonder if it is for the same reason: foreign languages classes there are usually taught in the first two years of school, the methods of delivery are boring, “torn” from the life in term of lack of material teaching the “live, conversational language”, discussing interesting topics, etc.)

Utah Mom Complains Over Gay Kiss In Local Play; Theater Company Responds

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/07/theater-company-gay-kiss-letter_n_5104869.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

 

The article describes the conflict between a parent (mother) of a teenage boy and a Utah theatre. The upset mother wrote a letter to a theatre director regarding an inappropriate scene in the play – the kiss shared by the same gender people (men). The parent was appealing to the fact that such “twists” in a play should be in a plot description and thus could have been avoided by those whose life convictions differed from the author of the play and the director of the theatre who allowed such a “vulgar and dirty scene.” The response of the local theatre was the following: “…no content advisory was provided because the kiss is a major plot twist and would have spoiled the show for other patrons. He also said he does not consider a gay kiss “edgy.”  The overall reaction was more sympathetic to the theater administrations and somewhat critique to the mother, who was blamed of being “overprotective and overreacting.” Commenters were referring to the fact that movie with the vicious, bloody scenes are not prohibited legally (they may be R rated), and didn’t understand such a reaction on an “innocent kiss.” I personally think that the plot description should have been available and should have been clearer on certain details. Although, teenagers nowadays know probably more than we think they do (or sometimes should), it is a parent’s right to know what her child (en) is going to be exposed to. If that is against one’s life views, one has a right to avoid it. As for “tolerance and legitimacy” of bloody scenes shown in movies or plays this days – I am against of those, despite of so –called “reasons” that our reality is full of them anyway: who knows, maybe we would have fewer of them if the media didn’t promulgate it. I disagree with the tone of the mother though who quite clearly identified herself as a “not very tolerant person to people’s sexual identity” to say the least: I understand that it is her opinion but I think it could have been addressed in a much less aggressive and insulting tone. What do you think about the situation?

Impact of coming out as an openly gay on one’s social, professional and personals life.

As another celebrity (the Massachusetts college basketball player Derick Gordon) came out as a gay – the first openly gay male college basketball player in D-I history- it captured the headlines of media. Dereck, a twenty-year-old UMass guard, was saying that his life was a web of lies as he was trying to pretend of whom he wasn’t and that he was feeling very much revealed and happy after the announcement. He got all the support from his teammates, family, coach and the audience/fans. When reading the article I was thinking that though  Derick’s announcement sure was important not just for him but for other people who are struggling with revealing of their sexual identity, as in our society is still prejudiced, but yet I couldn’t help remembering of the guest speaker who was an openly gay in one of my classes. I recall him saying how not just difficult but “energy draining” it was to talk about his sexual orientation or explain it as he felt that he “owed” an explanation to the whole world. Finally, he realized that he “doesn’t owe anything to anybody” in term of his personal life preferences and choices; he would talk to someone or answer questions if approached to some extent. He said that this decision made his life if not easy but at least much easier. “Why do we have to explain it to the world? Why nobody when being straight shouts about it in every corner, but when one’s a gay the whole world needs to know that?” said he. I agree with him and think that the less attention is drawn to the subject the more tolerant we will be to it and the easier someone’s life will be too. Among the comments on the article, the vast majority was “I don’t care of who he is as long as he is a good guy, sport player, etc.”

I understand that this is somewhat a “utopic” idea (letting people living their life the way they want, and by saying that I mean the sexual preference/choice): there are continuous debates about how it (coming out as a gay) impacts certain areas of our life such as military, college, etc. but yet I hope that it will be one day when the mankind will change and where people will live in the world where sexual orientation is not an issue but a someone’s life which should be respected and protected from the unwanted invasion/attention of others. Also I agree with some comments that it is getting a little tiring to read about that over and over and calling people who come out courageous and brave just for that; again, had our society been more tolerant/open minded or “curious” about one’s personal life, we would have had fewer issues with the topic.

http://college-basketball.si.com/2014/04/09/umass-derrick-gordon-comes-out-openly-gay/

New Jersey Teen Suing Her Parents for not paying her tuitions

Some time at the beginning of March, the New Jersey teen sued her parents for not wanting to pay her college tuitions and other expenses. Later on she decided to drop her charged and reunited with her family after her she “lost her case”. For those who didn’t read articles on the front pages of lots of webs, a quick recap: an eighteen year-old honors Christian school student ran away from home and was hosted by her friend’s family for a few months. During that time, with all the support of the friend’s father who happened to be an attorney, she started a law suit against her parents. The girl was accusing her “nearest and dearest” in refusing to financially support her and lots of other things (that were described in the court room as a abuse, etc.). The teen’s parents had another version of what had happened between them and their off-spring: apparently, the girl did not want to follow the simple and reasonable rules such as doing minor chores, staying home after 11 p.m., etc. Amongst the monitory demands for the college, their daughter was asking for an everyday support (just $650 a week, for those who are interested it can be roughly equal to $30-35K of an annual income of a working individual usually with some sort of degree and experience). Several days ago the Judge denied the girl’s demand and shortly after that the teen was “reunited” with her family. How they all came to such a consensus is something that stayed behind the door of that family. But the whole situations seems to me a little ridicule to say the least. Amongst the numerous comments, the great deal of which was not supportive of a teen, were questions of how that could have happened. Many were accusing the “disciplinary system” in United States, that in its great intention, leaves a lot of room for youngsters (usually teens, as that is a known “trouble making” age) to take advantage of it: suspect your parents in abusing, neglecting, hurting you by any means – report: which is important, of course, as unfortunately, abusive family situations do takes places, but teenagers also can interpret (twist) the situation in their favor. Teen age is called “teen” or tender for a reason: young people, not quite adults, but already not children either, are transitioning into an adulthood. It takes lots of tact, kindness, knowledge of a teenager’s personal/psychological development, to help them make that transition smoother. I think it should be a mutual “partnership”, if you will, between parents, children, school, etc. to help them succeed and point to “under water currents”. In our hectic life, full of stresses, fears, problems, we, parents, sometime don’t pay enough attention to our children lives: what interests them, whom are they friends with and why, what life goals and dreams they have. We care of course, if they have food on their plates, give them allowances, and… dive into our routine: we are providers, right? We are making sure our children have what they need, and sometimes we forget that they also need just our attention. In just a couple of years my husband and I are going to face this problem, and it will depend on us (parents and our daughter too!) not to make it a problem. What do you think about the whole situation and also advice (if any) that can be given to parents and their children who are entering this phase of their life? 

Here is few links where the article on the above issue can be found: http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/05/living/nj-teen-sues-parents-for-college-education/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bustle/why-i-support-rachel-cann_b_4959627.html

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/18/justice/new-jersey-parents-lawsuit-dropped/